"Hey, howya doin'? Hoo, lookit your hair!"
Yep, it's me again. Welcome back to another thuper thpecial edition of my column, the "thuper thpecial" part being that I just had an Ultra Stupid, Ultra Vague Reference up there! If anybody can name the person who said this, send me your full name and address, and I'll send you an IOU for $2.00. Who says there isn't a cheap 'n easy way of making money over the net?
Okay! Where to start, where to start...Something from last week, I guess.
I guess I'll start by talking about one of the funniest segments I've seen in long time. Al Snow. Steve Blackman. A poem. And Kaientai and the Posse running in Black Ninja style to be taken out by Blackamn while Snow reads the poem. This was another hilarious skit from the comedy team of Blackman and Snow, and even beats the Benjamin Franklin segment in terms of laugh-out-loud-ness. And not only was it funny, but it actually moved along the little storyline Snow and Blackman have, seeing that Snow got angry at Blackman in the end. Can you say, "Kickass Hardcore Title Match at Fully Loaded?"
Yep, the Undertaker's powerbomb is official...The Last Ride my ass! As a famous recapper by the name of CRZ would say, LET THE MAN DO HIS DAMN MOVE! Sure, it's a pretty vicious powerbomb, but Taker just isn't Taker without his Tombstone. I don't mind the fact as much that Kane has the Chokeslam as his finisher, since that's been his move of choice to finish guys off anyways...but without the Tombstone, the Taker is Just Another Big Man.
And whoever decided to cut out the rest of American Badass and just throw in the "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!" chorus/part of the song/whatever...should be drug out in the street and SHOT. What used to be some pretty damn cool entrance music just got replaced by a really repetitive, really annoying part of the song that nobody needs to hear every time he comes out. First they take away his finisher, then they dumb-down his entrance music. Are they just TRYING to bury this guy?
Okay, enough Taker Talk for now. I'm gettin' mad.
Next up, we've got...Kurt Angle and the Undertaker at Fully Loaded!
Aww, more Taker talk. I guess I was wrong. >_<
I really don't see this going over at the PPV too well. The feud hasn't really been feuled by much (except some mistakes by Angle and a poot scooter angle, which, unfortunately, I DIDN'T get to see), and should have gone on last RAW. Despite what Kurt says, this isn't exactly "a match of that magnitude - a match of that status". The Undertaker IS the master of the No-Sell, and Angle IS the master of clean, efficient wrestling...and when you try to put those together in a match, it's gonna suck (which is why the Taker's matches haven't really been ***** affairs recently). Looking into my Magic 8-ball (no, not THAT magic 8-ball!), my prediction for this match is...
"DRINK COKE, PLAY AGAIN"
Har. Just kidding. I see lotsa punches to Angle, lotsa no-selling by Taker, and a Last Ride to finish will hopefully make short work of the squash, and the "feud". Of course, anything could happen to help Angle win (a Steph interference, maybe?), but it would make more sense to job Angle after all the matches he's won lately....Hey, that reminds me, is Angle's winning streak still afloat? In one-on-one matches, of course.
And while I'm wondering...when's the Angle/Stephanie angle coming into play? After the Jericho/HHH feud, or what? And why's Angle in a feud with a big guy again?
On the flip side, I gotta say that the feud between Rock and Benoit isn't all that bad (even if Rocky got up RIGHT AFTER HE WAS IN THE CROSSFACE FOR MINUTES ON END.). Smackdown had a killer segment about Benoit, and Foley's stellar micwork--as usual--really helped to fuel the feud by making Benoit look like a true Canadian Badass (course, we already know he is, but for all the kayfabe fans, it made him look even better!). Throw in ol' Edge and Christian, and you've got yourself one kickass 20 Minute Promo. Say what you want about the 20 Minute Promos, they've gotten better ever since Foley was introduced as Commish!
More randomness: Steven Richards is one of my favorite gimmicks of the year. By cutting off the "good" parts of matches (much better than the WWF's previous attempt, by the way), he gets himself over as a great heel, pisses off the fans, and thumbs-the WWF's nose at the PTC at the same time. Not to mention his mic work, which is funny in its goody-two-shoes-edness, but also comes off serious and well done overall. I'm still waiting for the day when somebody gets their revenge on him! :)
I only caught the last half hour of RAW this week, due to the fact that I was seeing Mission Impossible: 2 with a friend (it was easier to follow, but it STILL didn't make any sense to me...at least the stunts were pretty good. John Woo! John Woo!), but what I did get to see...wow. It's probably been done before somewhere in wrestling, but even so, the whole HHH/X-Pot "feud", ending with it being a trap for Jericho all along was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I seriously thought that DX was finally breaking down. Like Jim Ross said (of COURSE I'm paraphrasing this) "I don't know about all of you, but it certainly had me fooled." The sledgehammer shots also got the fact over that HHH was really pissed at Jericho...and the whole thing would have been perfect, except for the fact that the camera caught Jericho spitting out a couple blood capsules towards the end (oops).
Well, there you have it. Another randomly pieced together, generic column by the 14 Year Old Who Almost Could. Yeesh, I need something original.
--James Gowdey Proudly part of the STEPH BEAR~! forum.
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